Have you ever experienced God changing your heart? Moulding your dreams and changing your priorities? Well this is what He has been working in my life recently and over my time at Chichester University.
I had always believed in God but it was only a month into my first year where He became a reality in my life. I went to the university Christian Union and someone shared what they felt God saying to me. It suddenly clicked. God must be real and know me for that person to be able to do that. I hadn’t voiced some of those feelings so there was no way it could be coincidence. From then on I started the most amazing journey ever. It involved many mistakes, times of confusion and understanding God’s presence in some really painful situations at uni. It was a scary time as my whole identity was shifted. I was baptised and shared the image of standing on the edge of a cliff, held up by chains. Gradually God has chipped away at these, taking me out of my big problems with confidence. Instead of the terror of falling from this place he has shown me to fly and be free.
Whilst studying dance I met Daniella. Expressions was always something I was interested in and I attended the dance day of the first summer school. But I was still holding onto my desires to train intensely in dance technique and give everything to try and perform. Whilst this is by no means wrong and it is right for many people, for myself I realised that it wasn’t coming from a place of honouring God. I knew in my heart that the decision would most likely lead me strive to perfectionism and glorifying myself, at least at the moment. I used to place all my identity in achieving in this but some of the first words God spoke to me were about our worthiness coming from Him alone. He also gave me an image of using dance to bring confidence to a hurt and lonely child and this began to open my mind to what amazing things this gift could be used for. It is not that this passion has disappeared but rather I have discovered a different path that provides opportunities to do all of the things I love and care about. My perspective of God has increased and now I see following His will, sharing His love, bringing justice, joy and healing and especially working with children and young people as my greater purpose. How incredible that there is a way of doing all of these through dance too!
One thing God has been teaching me is to trust His direction for us. After making my decision to move to Hemel on Christmas day 2010 (during a very long car journey) I didn’t verbalise this for several months out of fear. Even afterwards I was riddled with doubts and worries. It is still daunting to move away into something that is somewhat unknown. Fear of having made the wrong choice panicked me but I learnt to focus more on God’s grace and sovereignty. Is God not able to use us wherever we choose to go? Can He not work mightily in any situation and have strength to cover any of our mistakes or choices if we stay faithful to Him? What a reassurance. I still don’t know if God always planned this for me or if it is just one option and He will follow me wherever I go. But I do know that He will be with me and that nothing in life is more incredible and important. I’m also very glad God helped me to persevere through the worries. I have been so blessed with two successful interviews in Hemel doing jobs I love- an outreach worker for the national autistic society and working on play schemes for disabled children. I am now really excited, helped by meeting lots of friendly faces in the area and being encouraged with an awesome church to get involved in. I thank God for the sense of peace he has given, amidst not knowing where I will be living and the chaos of trying to train my brain to understand business matters!!!
So I am thrilled to be entering into expressions and undoubtedly learning so much along the way. I can’t wait to see what God will do and learn faith through taking risks. He has been talking to me a lot about obedience and trusting that He will be there when you take a leap. So, here goes for the jump! In what ways can you dive into the fullness of what God has for you? Because guess what- it’s going to bigger than you imagine.